Since it is April Fool's Day, thought I would lighten things up by sharing a little humorous video from the folks at CollegeHumor.com It's a little predictable, but everyone needs a laugh now and again, right?
I like to point out some of the common mistakes that men make when they are dealing with an ex girlfriend, because I find that it is useful for someone to have a clue as to what the wrong way to approach something is. And one of the things that I see all of the time is as most men try to win back their ex girlfriend - they do things that make themselves seem less attractive in her eyes.
Picture this: You are a woman and you've broken up with your boyfriend. What does he do? He starts to call and text you all of the time. He gets down on his knees and cries and pleads with you to take him back. Do you think that if you were a woman - this would make that guy seem more attractive? Of course not, it is going to make him seem less attractive. You have to start to think about what are some of the things that you can do that are going to increase your attractiveness to her. Those are the things that you really need to be focused on doing. As much as you might not like to have to admit it, people do judge based on the way that you present yourself. Particularly, in the way that you dress. Even the person that you are dating. I am not one to give out style cues, that really is not my thing. But, I can point you in the right direction: http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/10-summer-style-tips.html You don't have to literally follow all of their advice, but it probably wouldn't hurt to keep an open mind and have a look at what the folks at AskMen have to say. Personally, I think that a lot of men and women go about it wrong when they try to rebound back from a break up. Instead of giving themselves the appropriate time to heal their wounds and gather some much needed perspective as well as having fun - most men and women are off looking for the next relationship to get into. Don't misunderstand me, I am not against the idea of being in a relationship. What I am against is the ideal that you have to be in one to be happy and that you should try to get into one as soon as you can after breaking up with someone.
In my experience, and in observing the experience of others - that is almost never a good way to go about things. It's far better to allow yourself some time to heal and some time to explore what the world has to offer in terms of available singles. Here is an article on Match.com that offers some general but still valuableadvice: http://www.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=10465. You have to always remember that bouncing back is a good thing, but bouncing back too soon and ending up in another relationship that isn't going to work out well is not a good thing. While Valentine's Day is sold as being a great day for lovers, there are times when it can be anything but that. Even if you are not broken up with your girlfriend, sometimes Valentine's Day just doesn't pan out the way that you would hope that it would. If you are starting to get down about the prospects of your personal Valentine's Day that is coming up, I think you should take a look at this article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-guest-room/200902/how-valentines-day-can-ruin-your-relationship because it does make some pretty good points. Actually, there are a few other articles on Psychology Today that deal specifically with the topic of
The way that a lot of men act when they are dealing with a break up situation, there is only one word that can really be used to describe it. They panic. They start to imagine the worst possible scenarios unraveling and while it is possible that things can turn out rather poorly, it doesn't have to be that bad at all and even if it is - panicking about it doesn't really do anything for you. For example, it's not uncommon for a guy to talk about how his ex girlfriend is dating someone else and he is devastated by the news and all he can do is think about how much he wants her back. And I do understand feeling that way. It's not like I or any other guy hasn't been in that kind of situation before.
But, here is the thing that you want to keep in mind. When you panic over things like that, you end up making rash decisions. You end up doing things that if you later look back on them - you are going to realize that they were really big mistakes. And you don't always get to take those things back. You don't get a mulligan, this isn't a game of golf. What happens is that your ex girlfriend can and will become disgusted with you to the point where she feels like she is completely done with you. You don't want her to feel that way if your end goal is to try to win back your ex girlfriend, right? I mean, you really cannot expect to win her back if she is disgusted with you. Panic tends to take things out of perspective and blow them out of proportion. And it is almost always going to skew things towards the negative. Rarely does panic cause optimistic thinking. Sure, you might not have wanted the break up and sure, you might have wished that things could have worked out. Finding out that your ex girlfriend is with another man can be hard to handle. It can give you that feeling of having twisted knots in your stomach, it can even cause you to get depressed. You can snap out of feeling that way and when you do - that is when you are actually going to have a chance of being able to win her back. Really, when do you think you are more likely to get a loving text from your ex girlfriend - when you are in panic mode or when you are calm about things and acting totally rationally? I think you know the answer to this one. Whatever you do, if you are trying to win back an ex girlfriend or even if you are just trying to be able to move on and find a new girlfriend (which can end up being the BETTER option a lot of the time), panicking about your ex girlfriend and whether or not she might be seeing someone else is not the thing to do. I'd like to caution you against the idea of trying to remain friends with an ex girlfriend if your ultimate goal is really to end up back in a relationship with her. You might get advice from someone that this would be the best thing to do, but I am here to tell you that most guys who try to remain friends with an ex girlfriend end up regretting it in some way. They regret it because once you place yourself in the friend zone with her, it's a pain to try and get out of that zone.
Here are some things that you should do instead of trying to be friends with your ex girlfriend: 1. Try to make friends with women who you are not trying to date. It's really a good thing for a guy to be friends with women. You can learn a lot by having female friends. And there is also the off chance that one of those female friends will end up knowing someone that you might end up dating. What you get by having women as friends that you don't want to date can be priceless because you get to see the way that women really are and not go on some romanticized idea on how you think that they are. Plus, it's a lot easier to become good at talking to women and approaching women when you have women as friends. 2. Have activities that have nothing to do with trying to get your ex girlfriend back. Obsessions over relationships are not good, no matter how much you might try to rationalize them. You don't want to get caught in that trap of becoming one of those guys who is just thinking about his ex girlfriend or even thinking about dating all of the time. You want to have other interests. Not only does it make life more fun for you, it also helps you become more attractive with women and that is probably something that you won't mind, right? If you do want to get back with your ex girlfriend, click on this link to get your FREE Guide on what to do. Here are some quotes that might help you deal with your break up. And if you are thinking about trying to get back with an ex girlfriend, you might want to read this before you try to do anything at all.
It's only natural that you are going to feel lots of different things after you have broken up with a woman. You might feel as though you want to get your ex girlfriend back, but at the same time, you feel like you want to know what it is like to date someone else after break up. That's not necessarily a bad thing. And it doesn't necessarily mean that your ex girlfriend is not the right woman for you or that you can't end up getting back together with her again.
Here are some tips that might give you some help if you want to date someone after the break up with your ex girlfriend: 1. Be sure that you are not just trying to land yourself in another relationship right away. Some guys just can't do the being single thing. They are too into the idea of having a steady relationship and what happens when they break up with someone? They look for the next girlfriend right away. You don't want to do that right after a break up. You don't want to end up in a situation where you should just be casually getting to know a woman, but you are taking it too seriously. 2. Keep yourself open to the idea of rebounding and then trying to get back with an ex girlfriend. I know that this advice won't go down well with everyone, and that is okay by me. There is nothing wrong with knowing that you just want to take a break and have some fun before you try to win back your ex girlfriend. The good thing when you do that is, you can get a better idea on whether or not your ex girlfriend is really the one that you should be with, or if you might be better off in trying to attract a woman who might end up being a better fit for you in the end. I like to see couples that are meant to be with one another get over whatever problems that they had that made them break up and get back with one another. I think it is a great thing when that happens and I think that it doesn't always happen enough, that there are plenty of guys who just give up on the idea of being able to patch things up with an ex girlfriend when they could have worked on winning her back.
However, I like to be realistic about the fact that there are situations where going back to an ex girlfriend is not going to be the right choice to make. If your ex girlfriend was a cheater, and I mean that she cheated on you without much hesitation, you are probably just going to end up in one of those relationships where it happens again and again if you go back to her. There is a difference between it happening one time and it happening multiple times. When a woman cheats on you multiple times, she is setting a precedent that signs that she is going to repeat that behavior again and again. You'll only end up looking like a fool and getting hurt again if you end up taking back an ex girlfriend who cheated on you again and again. |
Articles to ReadHere are a few articles that can help if you want your ex girlfriend back or if you want to meet someone else. Archives
May 2014
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